VICE

ALICE: Hatter, Something is bothering me. The Dormouse said I use so much sugar it is a crime. Is it true?
MAD HATTER: The answer is either NO, or MAYBE, depending on the type of law.

ALICE: How awkward, how can it be maybe?
MAD HATTER: The Queen’s law depends on Her mood. Any government’s laws can change.

ALICE: But she changes her mind all the time! How can the answer be NO, then?
MAD HATTER: Well, Natural Law never changes, because it is based on principle.

ALICE: Not changing sounds safer. How does it work?
MAD HATTER: In Natural Law, if there is no one who was tricked, bullied, or hurt – without their consent – there is no crime.

ALICE: Well it’s just me eating sugar, so who cares?
MAD HATTER: If the Queen pays your medical bills, then she can order you to do almost anything.

ALICE: Oh dear!
MAD HATTER: Ah, did you never wonder why the Queen would go to all that trouble?

ALICE: Oh dear oh dear!
MAD HATTER: Free medicine is quite “dear” indeed – it costs us in more ways than most people realize.

ALICE: I think there should be a law against Queen herself!
MAD HATTER: Naturally so.

*end

Back to CONTENTS

TAXES

Dorothy: I don’t understand taxes. Why are strangers taking the money I earned?
Wizard: You pay them to protect you.

Dorothy: But I don’t have a choice?
Wizard: People would not pay if they had a choice.

Dorothy: If I needed protection, I would be willing to pay.
Wizard: Trust me; you need protection — from those who collect the taxes.

Dorothy: If I don’t have a choice, then, isn’t it theft?
Wizard: Not according to the Judge.

Dorothy: Who is this Judge?
Wizard: A rich guy who is paid by your taxes.

Dorothy: I don’t like this, not one little bit.
Wizard: Try lying to yourself, it works for most people.

Taxes, Part II

Dorothy: Wizard, about taxes, there is more to it than just the Judge, isn’t there?
Wizard: Yes Dorothy. The Majority set up a system which let’s this happen.

Dorothy: Why does a group have the right to take what is mine, while I cannot take their stuff?
Wizard: Because they are stronger.

Dorothy: Might makes right, then?
Wizard: Only for the Government, who has a monopoly on legal aggressive force.

Dorothy: Wizard, you have explained the HOW, but not the WHY. By what RIGHT do they steal from me?
Wizard: I’ve studied this, and every attempted answer is a mere word salad of contradictions.

Dorothy: What other wretched things does the government let itself do to me?
Wizard: That totally depends on what the People will put up with.

Dorothy: This should be taught in our schools!
Wizard: In our government schools?

Dorothy: Oh, right.

*end

Back to CONTENTS

STUPID

ALICE: Hatter, everyone told stories about how stupid the government is yesterday. Is it true? Why?
MAD HATTER: It’s true. The reason is because there is no reason for it to be smart.

ALICE: But doesn’t government want to help people?
MAD HATTER: They claim that, but the results run to the contrary.

ALICE: But why? The politicians are usually very well educated.
MAD HATTER: There are no consequences for failing. In fact, politicians need problems – so they can promise to fix them.

ALICE: Voters would figure that out, though, right?
MAD HATTER: No. Politicians claim to be making progress, but they always need more time and money.

ALICE: Hmm…. That is what I’ve seen.
MAD HATTER: The government can have a monopoly when they wish; they can make their competition illegal, or, just create red tape which exempts the government itself.

ALICE: Monopolies are bad, though.
MAD HATTER: Indeed. And the Government has a monopoly on the worst thing in the world: Aggressive force.

ALICE: Because they have courts police, jails, and even the IRS.
MAD HATTER: Exactly so.

ALICE: How does this make them stupid?
MAD HATTER: They never need to make money, they just raise taxes. And, knowing they can use force to win, they never need to be clever.

ALICE: Bullies are usually a bit stupid.
MAD HATTER: Yes, but then, the voters have their own issues as well.

ALICE: It seems like the biggest issue is the government itself.
MAD HATTER: Would you care for some tea?

*end

Back to CONTENTS

JUSTICE

Alice: Hatter, what is Justice?
Mad Hatter: Do you mean Social Justice, or Original Justice?

Alice: Aren’t they related? They both say Justice.
Mad Hatter: Well no, they are exact opposites.

Alice: How so?
Mad Hatter: Original Justice means all the rules apply exactly the same to everyone, no matter who.

Alice: And Social Justice?
Mad Hatter: Social Justice makes us deliberately apply different rules to different types of people.

Alice: Do they both help make life more fair?
Mad Hatter: Does having different rules for different people sound fair to you?

Alice: I attend public schools.
Mad Hatter: I see.

*end

Back to CONTENTS

EXPERTS

Alice: We need to check out something the Queen of Hearts has said.
Mad Hatter: Oh, excellent; we have an Expert for that.

Alice: Where can we find this Expert?
Mad Hatter: He is conveniently located just outside the Royal Palace!

Alice: That is convenient, but isn’t the rent there quite expensive?
Mad Hatter: Well, the Chief Royal Expert can certainly afford it!

Alice: You suggest we should verify information from the Queen by using her Chief Expert?
Mad Hatter: Everyone says he is the best!

Alice: But of course he will agree with the Queen, right?
Mad Hatter: No doubt, the Queen relies on the best Experts. This is why her laws are always great.

Alice: The Queen’s laws seem great, but mainly for the Queen.
Mad Hatter: Well, what did you expect?

Alice: Oh dear, this is not going to work. Are there any other Experts?
Mad Hatter: Of course! They live just down the street from the Chief Royal Expert.

Alice: And I assume they were also chosen by the Queen?
Mad Hatter: Well, that is how one becomes an Expert.

Alice: I see.
Mad Hatter: I suggest you keep that under your hat.

*end

Back to CONTENTS

CHARITY

ALICE: Hatter, I’m confused. I was excited about my vote when the Dormouse shot me a dirty look.
MAD HATTER: What vote?

ALICE: I supported helping some needy people.
MAD HATTER: What did you give up, to be so excited?

ALICE: Well nothing, it’s just a new tax.
MAD HATTER: If you are not giving up your own stuff, why do you feel good?

ALICE: It’s charity, to help people.
MAD HATTER: Alice, its not charity to force others to give.

ALICE: What if I also pay the tax?
MAD HATTER: It is still wrong to force others to do the same.

ALICE: Why?
MAD HATTER: Forcing others is bullying, always.

ALICE: Others were also celebrating.
MAD HATTER: Bullies love to make others do things, and they love to pretend they’ve done something good.

ALICE: This seems complicated.
MAD HATTER: The rule is simple… you may stop people from using force, but you may not force them to do good things.

ALICE: Oh Hatter, you’ve made me feel bad now. I am mad at you.
MAD HATTER: Ironically, it usually works like that.

ALICE: Whatever.

*end

Back to CONTENTS